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Broken bits

Wed Oct 4, 2006, 12:36 PM
  • Mood: Guilty
  • Listening to: my tears hitting the keyboard
  • Reading: my suicide poem
  • Watching: my life and sanity fall to pieces
  • Playing: The game i'm losing
  • Eating: never again
  • Drinking: from the fountian of saddness
I do not know why people hurt me so much... i am kicking my self in the ass. because of everything... rummors are flying. that i am pregant some that i am pregnant with my cousins baby... and i am sick of people talking shit it fucking pisses me off... i am sick of talk i am scared enough of being pregnant as it is... apparently i look pregnantish but i dunno... i am too scared to tell my mom... and people are spreading rumors mostly justin... and i don't know why he is saying shit... i think he is just pissed off that i was with another guy besides him... if he didn't want me to be with someone else then he should have asked me out i waited for him for four years and all summer. it makes me so madd.... i told him because i trusted him... and because i loved him.. he hasn't talked to me in a month... i am so scared and hurt and i hate gossip... exspecially when i can't truthfully deny it...i don't like me very much right now... a guy in my school told my friend katie to tell me to stop looking over at him and she said why i love aleah she is nice and he said yeah nice enough to get pregnant with her cousins baby.. i am pissed... first off i was extreamly drunk... and i DIDN'T REALLY WANT TO HAVE SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and yet that little bit is left out in any gossip... why can't any one defend me i was wrong i admit... BUT I AM PAYING FOR IT.... GOD HELP ME.... i need you now.... i need some one anyone just to confort me... i am so upset i don't know what to do... and there is no i can trust... because rumors fly... and the only one i trust is katie... I AM SCARED I AND I HATE MY LIFE RIGHT NOW... i don't know what to do... but i just want to fall off the earth and make this all stop and go away.

Devious Comments

:iconsusanm1981:
aww many :hug:'s dear.
I hope things calm down for you. Maybe you should take a home pregnancy test? Ignoring it won't make it go away unfortunately. :(

--
♂ + ♂ = ♥
♀ + ♀ = ♥
♀ + ♂ = ♥
:icondeeppurpletears:
i agree with susanm1981 on the pregnancy test. then you would at least know. as for the rumor part of this whole thing...as hard as it, the best way is to just ignore them...don't let it show that it's actually getting to you cuz then it makes people wanna do it more, unfortunately.
a bunch of :hug: 's for you. i'll keep you in my thoughts.
i hope things start to go uphill from here for you.
keep your head up hun.

--
our life is what our thoughts make it

i am; therefore, i think
:icon2lostandfar2hopeless:
honey do I need to go beat some ass cuz u know how much I ruled that skool. and besides I loveded you piggy yes I dooooo!

--
Tinkerbell reigns supreme!!!
:iconshadowzerro:
Perent presnt. I'll read later sorry.

--
I am *shadowzerro. (the head of The Frontline) The Frontline is the most acsepting club you will ever find it is a christian bast club for all to join. We are small and in need of members.
:icontears-for-christ:
okay... thanks

--
Staring into the intersection
she thinks that she can fly and she might
holding on in a new direction
she's gonna try it tonight
:icontears-for-christ:
i loveded you too piggy and yeas i think some serious ass needs to be beaten... and the route of the rumor is..... ding ding ding... JUSTIN LAMB... Oh how i love my life *rolls eyes* any way yeah i loveded you call me... o-tay love ya...

--
Staring into the intersection
she thinks that she can fly and she might
holding on in a new direction
she's gonna try it tonight
:icontears-for-christ:
i took one... it was - waited like two weeks still no period then i took another - and still none... now a month and a week behind i have to take another one... then face my mom and tell her to take me to the dotors if its - agian...

--
Staring into the intersection
she thinks that she can fly and she might
holding on in a new direction
she's gonna try it tonight
:icontears-for-christ:
thank you so much sweetie.. i am just haveing a hard time with everything so far... i have taken two and it was negitive and i am a month and a week late... i think there is something wrong... i have to get another test i am taking one on saterday... i am soo scared... it just hard.... and i hate that the man that had broken me to tiny bits is the one trying to ruin me agian... it hurts i just want to hear it from him.

--
Staring into the intersection
she thinks that she can fly and she might
holding on in a new direction
she's gonna try it tonight
:iconshadowzerro:
Now look you've mad me cry. Truthfully I'm crying. I feel for you I do and I'm so happy that you're crying out to God. I've been in a situation like that. I'm not rasist just to say that first. When I was in 7th grade I got to gether with this girl nothing hapend I was a church boy and she was a hore, but thats not the point. I was the least populer, and she was the second hates girl in the school. we hadf a history though. We went back into 6th. when I got her atention away from a geek at the end of the year. so we hooked up in 7th. I had a few guys jelus but not enough to do enything. But one of my best freinds did something derty at a nother school when they were geting there sisters. and thats when the truble started. she didn't like I new it she was just being a tramp he didn't balieve me. so when she came back to me he got pissed and started rumers about me. first it was stupid stuf like me and the girl doing it in detention and the bathrooms and the back of the field. but that was nothing. I didn't let that get to me cuse I new it wasn't true. not only that but most guys considerd me luky. The school is lik 15% white 45% Blacks and 40% maxican. The school had three riotes that year cosed by blacks and mexicans. So no one wanted to mess with them. He did the worst thing posible he told them all that I was rasist agianst all but whites. So I had every one in the school trying to kill me literaly. I got into more fights for my life then I can remember. and after geting into those fights. The prinsable called me out of class and wanted to straten out the hole thing. At the time all I new was that some one started this rumer and people wanted to kill me. even the prinsable thought I was ganging that girl.

--
I am *shadowzerro. (the head of The Frontline) The Frontline is the most acsepting club you will ever find it is a christian bast club for all to join. We are small and in need of members.

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